The Greatest Commandment (Matt. 22:34-40)

This week’s readings continue the theme of Jesus having controversies with the Jewish leaders. The Pharisees ask an important question and they received an important answer. And, although it was an important question, it still was a test to Jesus because a less careful answer could have left him open to the charge of trying to “abolish parts of the law.”

Jesus quotes the Hebrew Scriptures (Deut. 6:5 and Lev. 19:18), “but to bring them together like this as a summary of all the law and the prophets was a brilliant creative idea. In focusing on the two halves of the Ten Commandments (duty to God and duty to our neighbor) it offers a foundation for all our living; and by summing up that duty as love, it goes beyond the specific requirements of the law to the God-like attitude which must underlie them.” (New Bible Commentary. 1994)

Fulfilling our duty to God and neighbor is life giving. God established these rules not to rob us of the delight in creation or to incarcerate us from creativity and free thinking but rather to grant us life both in spirit and body. In our text today, Jesus shows us the answer that animates the law by positive means – through love.

A mother lovingly says, “Time to go to bed, honey.” “NO! You can’t make me!” replies the child with a stamp of his (her) foot. Patiently but firmly, mother says, “Young man (lady), you march yourself right up the stairs this instance!” “Oh, O-kay...” sighs the child without fully realizing that it’s fear or a lack of energy to fight that motivates them to do their parent’s will, and not obedience out of love.

At one time or another, I’m sure many of us rebelled against our parents when we were children. We may have not acted out in rebellion but perhaps in the fancy and privacy of our minds, we rejected what our parents advised us to do in our hearts despite obeying them in the world. We went to bed early with a grudge because we didn’t want to “deal” with the consequences of upsetting mom further.

The same dynamic happens with us fulfilling God’s commands. If we lack faith in the goodness of God, we might find ourselves following his commands begrudgingly like the older brother to the prodigal son. (Luke 15:29) Realizing that a lack of faith in God’s goodness is blasphemy and illogical, we might continue to ponder why we struggle with a particular commandment and conclude that we somehow are misinterpreting the “original” meaning of the text and somehow justify our actions to be innocent although they might not follow God’s law as we understand them in their literal sense. And so, you can see how we can begin to twist and turn God’s laws like we’re trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube – all with our best interests at heart and in sincerity.

But Jesus cuts through this quagmire of perspective: Love your God, love your neighbor. Love is so rudimentary, so instinctual that it hardly needs explaining. Our actions towards God and neighbor are to be done out of compassion and earnest desire to want what is best for them. We know this comes from within us, prompted by God’s Holy Spirit, and not consequential to our circumstances.

As Christians, we love our neighbor not because of the qualities they possess but because we are called to be like God and love them regardless of their qualities. We offer each other grace to be who we are – part sinner, part saint. And that grace isn’t something we manifest ourselves but is poured out to us and through us by our good God’s Holy Spirit.

This is evangelization - To love our neighbor, to love our God - In action, in word, with authenticity - In spite of the moral failures we see in ourselves and others. And we can only do this to the degree we have experience God’s grace and acceptance of us in our own lives. We love because that is the only means to be fully human and to experience the divine within us.

Covenant Love in Marriage

What does it mean to love your spouse as a reflection of God's love for us? What does it mean to have a covenant kind of love?

[As I share this personal story, please don't interpret my wife as lacking any self esteem. She is a bright, successful career woman, a great and godly mother, and a loving wife. This story compresses twenty years of being together into one short entry.]

When I first met my wife, we were in college and still in our teens. She was (and is) the most gorgeous woman God has ever brought into my life. Early in our relationship, I would tell her that I loved her. With a big beaming smile and a glint in her eye, she would ask me, "Why do you love me?"

At that time in my life, with all the hormones rushing through my body, I would passionately say to her, "because, baby, your hot!"

As time went on, we became married and all through our early years of marriage I would continue to give her this reason upon her asking me why I loved her.

Then, in cooperation with God, we decided to have a child. My wife grew over the few months with her abdomen expanding exponentially, her hair becoming brittle and stiff, dark rings under her eyes, and a certain fluffiness about her whole body.

I remember telling her "I love you" and her reply, "Why?" Of course, I said, "Cause, baby, your hot!" To which she turned into tears. "I'm NOT hot! I'm fat, my hair's falling out, and my face is all puffy. I'm not hot."

I was stunned. Honestly, I really thought she was gorgeous but I saw that she didn't see it that way. I tried to think of other attributes and then remembering that she was the sigma cum Laud student at our college and that she gave the commencement speech, I turned to her and said, "I love you because you are so smart. You were the top student in our college, you gave the commencement speech, and you're the director of a department at your hospital. Baby, you're smart."

Time went on, my wife came home to be with our children. One day, when the kids were 4 and 1 years old, I told my wife, "I love you." Again, to which she replied, "why?"

Having learned my lesson about not saying "'cause you're hot" I said, "Baby, 'cause you are so smart." She burst into tears. "I'm NOT smart! All I do is talk about Sesame Street, colors, numbers, and toys. I'm not smart. My brain as turned to mush since I have been home with the kids." Again, I tried to think of other attributes of her and reflected on how hard of a worker she was around the house, with the kids, and in the yard. "I love you because you're such a hard worker," and I proceeded to tell her all the ways she worked hard.

Then one fateful day, I became paralyzed from the hips down. My L4 and L5 disks in my lower back ruptured and the fragments migrated down my spine, kinking my nerves to my legs and lower abdomen. After my emergency surgery, I laid in bed for four months. I began to think about how worthless I was to my wife these four months because she did all the work while I laid around. It got me thinking about what would happen if my wife was in the same place.

What would happen if she contracted dementia in her old age and she no longer recognized me or knew herself even? What if she had a stroke and was confined to her bed? Would I still love her? Of course! But why?

This lead me to think about why God loves humanity. What attributes of humanity could ever be worthy of a being so infinite, so perfect, so beautiful, so powerful? There was no reason why. There was no attribute of humanity that could move God's love. God loves us because he chooses to love us because he is love.

As I began to think of all the circumstances and situations that could happen in my relationship with my wife, I concluded that I would always love her regardless of any defect. Yes, she's pretty. Yes, she's smart. Yes, she's hard working. Yes, she's faithful and loves me too. All of these attributes of hers fills our relationship with so many blessings and add to my happiness in this life. But, if all of those attributes were to fail (and I would grieve the loss of any one of them), their loss would not diminish my love for her because like God,

I love her because I choose to love her.

This is what it means to have a covenant love. This is the meaning behind our vows of marriage, in sickness and health, in riches and poverty, and in goodness and adversity. We love each other because we choose to love each other - even when the other can no longer love us.

Fidelity and strength are found in this type of love because it dissolves temptation from the outside world. If my love was founded on her beauty alone then what would stop me from falling in love with someone prettier? If it was founded on brilliance, then what would stop me from falling in love with someone smarter?

If our love is founded on the attributes of the other, then they will always be tested against those who have greater or lesser attributes. But if our love is founded upon a firm, unchanging choice of our will, then there can be no temptation that the world could offer to break us away from that vow.